Braving The Weather
January 5, 2010
Hope Sandoval is streaming into my sleepy head through headphones. Listening to the songs from her new album is like having an old friend return after a long absence, catching me up on all the years that have passed. December came and went so fast I can hardly remember what I did, put up a Christmas tree, baked some ginger cookies, shopped online, loaded wood into stoves, shoveled loads of snow, took down a Christmas tree. Tonight the sleeping house is warm. The howling winds of the past few days have finally died down. All of the sounds that a house makes when the wind pushes up against it have quieted. The stoves are on a slow burn. I will wake once in the night and put in another log to keep the embers alive until morning. The winter’s night routine. Never let the fires die.
January is here. I thought that it would never come. The sugar maples are naked and the ground is a blanket of snow. Winter here is not for the faint-hearted. There is a strength in the people who choose to live in cold climates that I admire. I see it in my own children. They may choose to live in a warmer part of the world someday but they have this experience of braving the weather and pushing through in their character. They are stronger for it. We lived on the west coast for a few years and I knew that it was not my home. I missed the seasons. I needed that rhythm in my creative life. I spent those years putting all of my energy into raising my children as I couldn’t seem to get in touch with my own voice. At the time my children were my expression. Maybe I was just afraid to see what I was feeling inside, kept a blind eye to it, a slow death only to be reborn in the snowy landscape of New England. The path we are on in life is the only one we have so everything is in perfect time. This is what I believe. Intuitively, I knew where my energy needed to be because as soon as the girls were older, I found that I was exactly where I needed to be to begin writing again. I am still a full time mother and finding time outside of that responsibility has been challenging. The days begin early and end late to make space for myself.
So this is the month that A Flutter And Some Words will finally be released. Three years of my life wrapped up in it, two winters, two springs, two summers and one Autumn in the writing. It has been an incredible journey of remembering and taking back something that belongs to me that I thought I could live without and somehow be content. No regrets. I was busy making a family and if anything had been different, this record would not exist. No Time is lost. This is my best work thus far and the album that I am most proud of.
It’s getting late so I will end this here. It will be a busy month and I am feeling like it’s my season. They say there will be snow again Friday and I say bring it on.